Proverbs 31

The king honors his mother by giving us her instructions to him on many matters. The mother cautions the son even at his birth concerning his fortitude and character as well as his heritage. Another thing strikes me here about how he shows honor to his mother by mention of her teaching him these character qualities. It is as though she knows what he is going to become and sets forth to prepare him for what is ahead.

This chapter is one of the most famous in the Bible for the purpose of showing daughters a Virtuous Woman. This is not an exhaustive list or definitive in all the virtues of a woman. Indeed if there be a woman that maintained these she would be exceptional.

1 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.

Lemuel, this name signifies one from God, or belonging to God, hence her pleadings “son of my vows.” Names were given, as many names in that day, as a reminder of their heritage and the obligations vowed at their birth. As a side note, Lemuel is one of six aliases give to Solomon. Thus, the mother of Solomon, Bathsheba is the mother whom raised and prepared this king.

2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows? 3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

I am not sure why this warning is as it is but it occurs to me in many cases, young men focus more on finding a woman than finding a trade. It seems they feel the deepest need to put themselves to the task of finding a mate. It appears the Mother here is trying to warn her son about those women which are conniving and deceitful, else why would they have the ability to ruin kings? A man who is young in the ways of the world would not be able to distinguish between the proper type of woman and one that is just looking for a wealthy home.

There is a time and place to find a woman. If a man has nothing but a woman, he very well could have the kindling of distress from the beginning. It should be understood that it is the purpose of a man to find his way in the business of his choosing before he finds his mate. In talking to people from generations past, most would tell us the men that were worth having had been busy getting themselves established. I have heard where women had to work at distracting the men in order to get them to even begin the consideration of a date, much less a marriage. You see, a man busy with the women is not what a woman is attracted to so much. By virtue of the fact that this mother is conveying her wisdom should serve as a warning to men for they are so easily distracted by the professional distracters.

4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: 5 Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted. 6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. 7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

The NIV says it like this: ⁴ "It is not for kings, O Lemuel- not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, ⁵ lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.” This is another warning about drinking and becoming influenced by the numbing effects of its intent. You see, the main problem with drinking is the effect it has and not the contents of the elixir. Some would say that a modest portion of wine with a meal is very good for the purpose of digestion. When one has too much then judgment flees and gives way to loose lips and numbed discretions. It is clearly about balance. Ps 104:15 “And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil to make his face to shine, and bread which strengtheneth man's heart.” (NIV) This is not saying stay completely away from wine but again, the balance and discretionary use instead. As a matter of clarity, this wine is not grape juice, as some would supplant in order to support their Church’s doctrinal statements. I am not saying go out and get a bottle of wine, what I am saying, if the Lord so allows you, then you may have that liberty with discretion but be warned. There are mighty men who have fallen from its demise.

8 Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. 9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

Have you ever known someone who was needy or distressed? Have you ever known someone that was unable to get what they needed due to their lack of knowledge? Have you ever known someone who was unable to have the occasion to put forth their case in front of the ones who should hear? Many of us have. There should be in us a desire to do so for those less fortunate. It requires Wisdom in order to make a difference for that individual however. Simply bantering on their behalf could get you both thrown out.

Thus as Lemuel's mother cautions him against women and wine, she advises him to do the duties of his office in putting forth impartial justice to all, and particularly in being the advocate and judge of the unfortunate and distressed as well.

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

Webster’s definition of virtuous is: a : having or exhibiting virtue b : morally excellent. Look at the number of entries found in the thesaurus: blameless, celibate, chaste, clean-living, effective, effectual, efficient, ethical, excellent, exemplary, faithful, guiltless, high-principled, honest, honorable, incorruptible, inculpable, innocent, irreprehensible, kosher, legit, moral, moralistic, noble, praiseworthy, principled, pure, regular, right-minded, righteous, spotless, square, straight, true blue, unsullied, untainted, untarnished, up front, upright, virginal, wholesome, without reproach, worthy. Is there anything a man has not done in order to find himself next to a woman revered among the inhabitants of this earth? She is worth far more than rubies. Her existence is unique which makes her rare and truly the instinctive desire of a noble man.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Trust is a dominion. Each time we encumber that dominion it is soiled and nothing but time will devour the cancer that ebbs throughout. In the times of this writing and similar to our current society, the woman was out to do her business of the day. She was in the market purchasing, she was in the fields planting and gathering for her family, she was in the city working to ensure the happiness of her clan. If she were not to be trusted it would have driven the husband crazy. By his trust and appreciation of her diligence, he had no need of spoil. Spoil is an interesting word because it is the same word used to describe the gatherings or plunders of a war. One could surmise the man was not needing to go about to find the things he wanted because they were all at home.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

This is the dedication that is at the root of trust. There is never a question about her motives and character for as long as she lives. Men should take note here as well in that while not always agreeing, the motives of the “Virtuous Woman” are always to the benefit and wellbeing of her man.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

Resourcefulness with what she has;

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

Back in the days when this was written the cities would consume the available supplies and when they were out they had to wait for the merchant’s ships to come in to replenish.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

Years ago, in order to get the household going for the day, certain task had to start very early in the morning. Even today, those families that have livestock or other animals have to get started very early in order to make sure they all get fed or taken care of. Keep in mind too that all of the family was involved in the business of the family. There is not nearly as much focus today on the family as a living organism but instead it is becoming a place where we get what we need.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

It would be hard to picture this in our modern time however while she is out in the market and selling the things she has made or buying materials it would not be that far fetched for her to run across opportunities involving land. Because she is resourceful she could purchase it and arrange to plant it.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

This is a figure of speech in that she prepares herself and keeps herself ready for what is ahead of her.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

She knows quality and only wants the best for her and her family. She pays close attention to the details of the finer things. The candle or lamp does not go out at night because she has made sure there is enough oil to keep it burning and alive. She is prepared.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

She is not afraid to work. The “spindle” is the point in which various materials are spun into a single thread. The “distaff” holds the wool or flax before it is fed into the spindle.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

Simply put, she is giving. However, notice the word “stretcheth” because it implies she does not just conveniently give but stretches or goes out of her way to do so. The same is true in the second part of this verse where it says “reacheth.” Any time a principle is described twice in the same verse or repeated it is done for the purpose of emphasis.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

No matter what the weather is outside everyone inside the home is prepared.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

The inside of her home is covered with rugs, bedspreads, tablecloths etc. She wears the best her means can provide. An interesting note, the harlot of Pr 7:16 conveys to her prey she has this same décor in her home. The difference is that this woman, the virtuous one, has done it for the purpose of providing for her family.

Take a moment to see the difference between these two women. I think we sometimes have to have things for the wrong reasons. For instance, food. When we are having guest for dinner, we care what food we are serving and even how the food looks. This is not necessarily wrong after all we want to show our guest a certain honor for whatever the occasion. But when we buy a car do we truly look for the best possible transportation or do we have to have the one that will impress those who see us with it? What about that purse, that golf bag, that table and even the house? What is motivating us to buy what we buy? The virtuous woman is practical and resourceful.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

Back in the times when this was written, the men would sit at the gates of the city and discuss the news of the day. Often news would arrive from other cities and be discussed while messengers would go out to other cities to report important information. There was a fairly sophisticated network and method of keeping current information available to those in the region.

Her husband was known because of their Wisdom and integrity. They were involved in the decisions of the day.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

She is a hard working person. She not only has acquired nice things for her home but she takes pride in her business and only sells the best to her customers. The contrast and lie of the flesh is that when we see people that have nice things we somehow think they had it given to them. In nearly every case, those who have nice things have worked very hard to be able to afford them.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

She is not dancing around singing, “I’ve got it made…I’ve got it made now.” No, she is busy with today and preparing for the next. The time will come when she can rejoice. The word “rejoice” here is in the form of play or pleasure, which implies there are times for work and times for pleasure.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

She is wise and full of Wisdom. Remember, this is the king talking about his mother. There is no greater honor than to have a son or daughter pay tribute openly to their parents.

“The law of kindness” is simple. It means that the true meaning of kindness is part of her reputation and at the core of her motives. The law of kindness never has an ulterior motive. In this case, being “in her tongue” the words that come from her are kind. I suppose we should understand as well that some kind words may not be what we want to hear but instead are meant for our good. The law of kindness is not to be confused with making others feel good. Instead the law of kindness is meant to make us better, to actually benefit us in some way.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

We might mistake this verse for how well she takes care of her house but that is not the subject here. The word “ways” in the Hebrew actually means going, doing, or traveling. This verse is talking about when they travel and the Hebrew root from which “ways” is taken means each step. She watches each person in her family and every step they take. In those days traveling was not as simple as it is today. We only need to worry about long term parking and making it on the plane in time with everyone seated with their seat belts fastened and their tray tables in the upright and fastened position. They had to be very keen regarding the journey. Bandits could change everything (even in those days your luggage could end up in another city). If the trip was more than a day’s journey, which most were, there was food, bedding and clothing to prepare. As you can see, if she chose to kick back and just ride out the trip “her household” may not have fared as well.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

There is a certain feel to a home that is present in the morning after a good nights sleep. There is also a certain feel when someone is already awake and you hear the quiet noises of preparation. Buried in this verse is Wisdom’s caution however. The word “blessed” in the Hebrew means level, right and happy. You see, if you are in the kitchen banging around the pots and pans because you really don’t feel like being up and waiting on the lazy slobs that are still sleeping, you missed the point. Remember verse 25 where is says there will be a time to rejoice? There will be a time when the children are gone and in that time in order to not be regretful, we must consider our current time as opportunity. There is also Wisdom for the husband here as well, you have to show your appreciation once in a while. The reason she is up preparing is one of the ways she expresses her love for you. If you don’t butter her up now and then you may only get dry toast.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

Doing something virtuous and being virtuous are completely different. The dictionary defines virtuous as conforming to moral and ethical principles; morally excellent; upright. The result of being virtuous is all that is done is done from the foundation of morally and ethically principled living. Anyone can do something virtuously now and then. Unfortunately, many of us tend to make sure that there is someone that notices when we do. Look at this section of scripture in Luke 18:

“9 And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:
10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.”

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

The definition of the word “favour” is showing favoritism toward someone or being shown favoritism by someone. The danger or deceitfulness of favor lies in the expectations both the receiver and the giver. In some cases the receiver becomes overly expectant of the grace and mercy, which leads to laziness and deceit. Being shown favor also creates problematic relationships with others. Just ask Joseph if there is any danger in being shown favor or ask King David the same question.

As for “beauty” there is not a man or woman on the face of the earth that after putting on some new clothing does not want to hear how nice they look in them. The point here in the verse however is that the outer person’s praises and appearance is all for naught. The inner person and their relationship with the LORD is uttermost of importance and the praises received eternal.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

The word “gates” here is referring to the marketplace where she may have traded her wares. This verse implies her works would be traded for the best available necessities. The point here is that from her diligence she would reap the finest and of course everyone knew the needed to bring only the best in order to trade for her merchandise.